Differences between biological and adoptive parenting
Many people consider adoptive parenting to be like biological parenting and in many respects it is. However, there are also a number of differences:
Who is involved?
The most significant difference is that there are three parties involved in each adoption:
- the adopted child
- birth parents
- adoptive parents.
For the child, adoption provides a permanent legal family with parents who are able to provide care, while recognising and respecting the child's origins.
For birth parents, adoption offers an opportunity to plan for the care of their child when the need for a permanent family cannot be met any other way.
For adoptive parents, adoption offers the opportunity of parenting a child.
The rights of each party must be protected by good adoption practice and legal safeguards. One thing that makes adoptive families unique is the child's biological heritage that links two families together.
Adoption is created through loss
Another significant difference between adoptive and biological parenting is that adoption is created through loss. Without loss there would be no adoption.
All birth parents, adoptive parents and adopted children experience at least one major, life-altering loss before becoming involved in adoption.
All three parties in the adoption triangle experience grief associated with the loss of family, child, dreams and unmet expectations. These experiences, and the way they are accepted and resolved, set the tone for the life-long process of adoption.
Other key differences
Other key differences between adoptive and biological parenting include:
- the lack of physical changes associated with pregnancy for adoptive parents
- not having the child from the time of birth
- having limited information on the child's background, medical and genetic information
- having to face the inability to have a biological child, if infertile
- having to deal with the intrusive nature of the adoption process
- the lack of a genetic link with the child
- forming an attachment to a child born to someone else and making the child psychologically your own, yet accepting the child's social and genetic history
- explaining adoption to the child at an early age and sharing information about their genetic and cultural background
- assisting the child with the life long process of adjustment to their adoptive experience and status
- permitting and assisting the child to find their biological family
- not being able to tell the child how they will look when they grow up, how tall they will be or knowing which talents to encourage based on genetic predisposition
- parenting a child who may have siblings living with the birth family or another adoptive family
- not knowing why the child behaves a certain way.
Further information
For further information about adopting a child from Queensland or from overseas, contact our Adoption Services Queensland Unit.
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007