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Intercountry adoptive parent education

• Module 1 - Introduction
  • What is adoption?
  • Who is involved in the adoption process?
  • The adoption process
  • Adoption Services Queensland
  • Suggested reading
• Module 2 - The needs of overseas children requiring permanent adoptive placements in Queensland
  • Overseas country information
  • Are you suited to intercountry adoption?
  • Motivation to adopt
  • Issues and challenges faced by adoptive parents
  • Placement proposals
  • Building resilience with your adopted child
  • Suggested reading
• Module 3 - Child development
  • Understanding child development
  • Factors that impact on child development
  • A child's understanding of adoption
  • Suggested reading
• Module 4 - Attachment and bonding
  • Attachment theory
  • What is attachment and bonding?
  • Types of attachment
  • Attachment behaviour
  • Signs of healthy attachment and bonding
  • Attachment disorder
  • Impact of attachment on adoptive parenting
  • The arousal-relaxation cycle
  • Developing an attachment with your child
  • Suggested reading
• Module 5 - Separation, grief and loss
  • Definition of loss and grief
  • The impact of loss on adoptive parents
  • The impact of loss on adopted children
  • Effects and strategies for dealing with a child's loss
  • Understanding the impact of loss on an adopted child
  • The impact of loss on birth parents
  • The grief process
  • Suggested reading
• Module 6 - Identity and culture
  • Your feelings about ethnic background and culture
  • The impact of adoption on your family
  • Definition of ethnicity, culture and identity
  • Addressing cultural identity
  • The cultural heritage plan
  • Barriers to developing a child's cultural identity
  • A child's racial awareness
  • Stages of development of racial identity
  • Combating racism
  • Telling your child they are adopted
  • The adoptive family life cycle
  • Suggested reading
• Module 7 - Preparing for assessment
  • Departmental assessment considerations
  • Assessing a couple's suitability
  • Meeting the assessment criteria
  • The assessment process
  • Placement considerations
  • Assessors - their perspective
  • Establishing a family tree and Ecomap
  • Suggested reading
• Module 8 - Placement information
  • Medical assessment of children adopted from overseas
  • Lodging an application with the Department of Immigration and Citizenship
  • Migration Health Check
  • Naming your child
  • Travel arrangements
  • Arrival in Australia
  • Queensland Birth Certificate
  • Australian Citizenship
  • Adoptive parent support groups
  • Life Story Book
  • Suggested reading
• Module 9 - General reading
• Family profile
  • My family profile
• Printable version
• Contacts

A child's understanding of adoption

Adoptive parents can help their child understand adoption by explaining that their adopted family is their permanent family by law, and that they were adopted because their birth family decided it was the best way to secure their future wellbeing.

Adoptive parents can also help their child by providing accurate information about their adoption and expressing positive feelings about their child's adopted status and birth family.

• Discussing adoption
• Differences between a child who is adopted and a child who is not adopted

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Discussing adoption

We encourage you to talk about adoption within your family home from the moment the child is placed with you. Explaining adoption to your child is a progressive process - children understand different things at different ages and have different information needs as they grow up.

By consistently talking about adoption as your child grows, they will be able to discuss adoption on a more complex level with you when they are ready.

It is important for adoptive parents to encourage their child to talk about how they feel about their adoption. You can do this by talking about adoption when it seems natural to do so - for example, when there is something in the media about adoption, when friends adopt a child or when talking about the child's physical appearance.

Creating a Life Story Book with your child will also provide opportunities for your child to talk about how they feel about their adoption. For further information about creating a Life Story Book, please refer to Module 8.

Other ways families can help their children have a realistic understanding of adoption include:

• finding out as much as possible about other adoptive parents' experiences and how adoption affects children
• reading story books about children who have been adopted and families that have been formed by adoption
• ensuring children develop pride in their cultural background and have people in their family and social networks who share their cultural background
• providing children with any known information about the circumstances of their adoption - the non-identifying information provided at the time of their adoption can help with this
• communicating with the child's pre-adoptive carer. For further information, contact Adoption Services Queensland
• accessing support from a professional counsellor if there are issues associated with the child's adoption or adjustment.

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Differences between a child who is adopted and a child who is not adopted

Age	Child who is adopted	Child who is not adopted
0-4 years	Generally does not realise differences. If they notice them, they like to point them out. Feels OK about adoption and thinks their story is special.	Generally does not realise differences. If they notice differences, they like to point them out. Feels OK about adoption and thinks the adopted child's story is special.
5-6 years	Child begins to ask many questions about babies, birth, differences. Likes adoption story, but does not understand the concepts of adoption. Feels some differences, especially if they are in a multicultural family. Tells most people they are adopted.	Child begins to ask many questions about babies, birth, differences. Does not understand adoption, wonders about it when it comes up and often asks simple questions to learn more. Accepts adoption as a way to form a family.
7-11 years	Child understands basic concepts of adoption. Begins grieving process. May stop asking questions or be in denial. Realises they have lost something in order to be adopted. "Not everyone is adopted like me". "Why was I adopted?" "Why didn't they keep me?" "Did I do something wrong?" Increasing interest in birth parents.	Does not understand adoption concepts, but begins to sense it results when birth parents 'give away' their child. Reaction to adopted peers based on information from adults (if any) or media. "Not everyone is adopted like he is". "Why was she adopted?" "Could my parents give me away?" "I'm glad I am not adopted". "Adoption is OK because I like you" or "Adoption is not OK because I don't like you".
12-14 years	Feels anger, as part of the grieving and developmental stage. May resist authority, try new identities. Begins separating from two sets of parents. May be angry over loss of control over adoption decisions, wants more control in life. Growing sense of self, identity issues. More complex reasoning about adoption story and needs to look at the 'greys' rather than 'black and white'. Rejects children who are different. Generally does not talk about being adopted.	Feels anger as part of developmental stage. May resist authority, try new identities. Begins separating from one set of parents. Wants more control in life. Growing sense of self, identity issues. Sees many differences about adoptive families. Oversimplifies how adoption occurs and does understand emotional issues. Rejects children who are different. May be negative about their perception of adopted children.
15-17 years	Separates from two sets of parents. Has new concerns about leaving home.	Separates from one set of parents. May face concerns about leaving home, but usually feels secure about its permanency.

For more information about the differences between adopted and birth children, visit the Centre for Adoption Support and Education website.

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Last updated

19 October 2007