Signs of healthy attachment and bonding
| Stage of development |
Child's behaviour |
Parent's behaviour |
| 1 month |
- Cries to signal needs.
- Ceases crying and returns to relaxed state when need is met.
- Good sucking response.
- Accepts cuddling.
|
- Responds to baby's signal and successfully identifies needs most of the time.
- Returns to relaxation along with baby; feels good about self and child.
- Offers nurturing.
|
| 2 - 5 months |
- Smiles, makes eye contact, stares at mother's face for few seconds at a time, makes happy sounds.
- Length of eye contact and loving exchanges with mother increases from seconds to minutes.
- If eye contact is interrupted by sudden noise or other distraction, child is increasingly able to return to the gaze.
- Child appears responsive and exhibits full range of emotions.
|
- Begins wooing child, initiates positive interactions, calls baby by name.
- Responds to child's full range of emotions.
|
| 5 - 6 months |
- Explores parents' faces visually and through touch.
- Enjoys and engages in 'peek-a-boo' games.
|
|
| 6 - 7 months |
- Differentiates between parents and strangers.
- Begins checking back to parents for reassurance when strangers are present.
|
- Offers visual, verbal and tactile reassurance.
|
| 8 - 9 months |
- Exhibits anxiety, anger, or flattened affect when parents leave or are not present.
|
|
| 9 to 18 months |
- Checking continues and is used to help child feel safe when exploring.
- Shows happiness at accomplishments.
- Increasing interest in father.
- Returns to parents for emotional reinforcement (a hug or kiss) during play.
- Turns to parents easily for comfort when tired, hurt or ill.
- Accepts comfort most of the time.
- Ability to delay gratification increases slightly.
- Self-comforting skills increase (thumb-sucking or using transitional objects).
|
- Encourages safe exploration.
- Exhibits joy at the child's accomplishments.
- Provides reassurance, encourages the child to return to play.
- Offers comfort.
|
| 15 to 20 months |
- Wooing and coercion.
- Shadowing and darting.
|
- Responds to need and redirects, does not usually overreact to coercion.
|
| 21 to 36 months |
- Previous behaviours continue and the child shows the full range of emotions
- Increasingly able to handle longer periods of separation (in hours) without anxiety, increasingly longer periods of independent play.
- Increasing ability to accept redirection, discipline and authority.
- Imitates parents in play.
|
- Continued responsiveness to child's needs, encourages growing autonomy and praises accomplishments.
|
Refer to the list of suggested reading for further information on signs
of healthy attachment and bonding.
Top of page
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007
