Types of attachment
There are four types of attachment that can develop between a child and their adoptive parent. These are:
- 1. Secure attachment
- 2. Insecure or avoidant attachment
- 3. Insecure or resistant attachment
- 4. Disorganised and disoriented attachment
- Developing attachment with your child
- Activity 2 - Zoe's story
1. Secure attachment
Occurs when the child feels valued, understood, accepted, and is helped by caring parents to make choices. This allows the child to develop self-esteem and a capacity to think and manage their thoughts, feelings and behaviour in a way that is accepted.
2. Insecure or avoidant attachment
Occurs when the caregiver finds it difficult to accept or respond sensitively to the child's needs. As a result, the child may find that their demands are rejected, their feelings are ignored and that the parent tries to take over in an intrusive, insensitive way.
The child learns to hide their feelings in order to avoid upsetting the parent and provoking rejection or intrusion. It is more comfortable for the child to be self-reliant, which makes it more likely that the parent will stay close.
3. Insecure or resistant attachment
Occurs when the parent responds to the child's demands in a sporadic, unpredictable and insensitive manner. The child finds it difficult to develop closeness with the parent. Care and protection are sometimes offered by the parent, but it is uncertain and ineffective.
Initially, the child may constantly make demands to attract and keep the attention of the parent. Over time, the child becomes preoccupied, demanding, clingy, distrustful and resistant.
4. Disorganised and disoriented attachment
Occurs when the parent is unpredictable, frightening and rejects the child's needs. The child is in a situation of fear without a solution. Parents do not care for the child, appear out of control, are hostile and helpless to protect the child.
The child's failed efforts to receive care and protection from the parent results in fear, anxiety and confusion. Over time, the child develops controlling behaviours to enable them to feel safe. Feelings of fear and anxiety remain unresolved and surface at times of stress.
The success of adoptive parents in forming an attachment with their child depends on their understanding of attachment. Their behaviour in forming an attachment with their child is influenced by conscious and unconscious memories of being parented as children.
Developing attachment with your child
In developing an attachment with your child, it is important that you think about the following factors:
- Attachments can form at any age and stage of the child's development, but are likely to be influenced by previous relationships.
- An attachment between a child and their adoptive parents is not necessarily a result of a close or loving relationship - a child will form an attachment to parents who provide love and support, but will also form an attachment to parents who are insensitive or who abuse and frighten them.
- The quality of care provided by the parents will impact on the child's physical, psychological, social and emotional development.
- The type of care provided by the parent will continue to affect the type of attachment they have with their child, and as a result the child's behaviour, as the child grows from infancy to adolescence.
- A child's attachment with their parent may be affected by life experiences that change the type of care provided by their parent. This means that a secure child may become insecure, or an insecure child may become secure in their attachment with their parent.
- Adoptive parents have an opportunity to influence their child's development, security and happiness, regardless of the child's past experiences, as a result of developing a secure attachment with their child.
Refer to the list of suggested reading for further information on attachment.
Activity 2 - Zoe's story
Zoe is only four years old but insists on doing everything for herself. She will not let you help her dress or tie her shoes and when you insist, she tries to push you away and becomes upset. If she hurts herself, she will not accept comfort and she rarely cries. Bath times are difficult and frequently end up with screaming, tears or sulking. Her favourite phrase seems to be, 'I'll do it by myself'.
In your learning journal, comment on the following questions:
- What type of attachment reflects Zoe's behaviours?
- How do you think you would respond to Zoe's behaviour?
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007