The adoptive family life cycle
| Stage |
Issues for adoptive parents |
Issues for adopted children |
| Pre-adoption |
- Coping with infertility and feelings of inadequacy as a man or woman,
letting go of dreams of being a
biological parent. Helping your
own parents, siblings and children
(if any) accept the plan to adopt.
- Coping with prolonged evaluation
assessments and anxiety of not
knowing when you may be offered
a child.
- Preparing for the social stigma of
adopting.
- Planning for a lifestyle change,
for example, giving up your job,
changing the type of relationship
with your partner.
- Coping with feelings about accepting
a child who may not be 'ideal'.
|
- For older children, trying to cope
with the loss of their birth parents
and uncertainty about future.
- Coping with the difficulty of
knowing they will lose current
foster parents.
- Coping with anxiety about their
future adoptive parents.
|
| Infancy |
- Taking on the identity of an
adoptive parent and finding
acceptable role models.
- Developing realistic expectations.
- Integrating the child into the family.
- Persisting with affection and
establishing a secure attachment
even if you are faced with personal
disappointment.
- Exploring thoughts and feelings
about your child's birth family.
|
|
| Early childhood |
- Beginning the telling process.
- Creating an open atmosphere to
talk about adoption and the
child's birth family.
|
- Learning elements of their
adoption story.
- Questioning their parents
about adoption.
|
| Middle childhood |
- Helping your child to accept the
meaning of adoption, including
loss of birth parents, and
experiencing possible anger from
the child (especially directed at the
adoptive mother).
- Helping your child to develop a
positive view of their birth family.
- Managing any contact or
communication with the birth
family.
- Coping with the insecurity of telling
your child about their birth history,
worrying that your child may want
to leave or not love their adoptive
parents.
|
- Coping with the adoption loss.
- Exploring feelings of being given
up by birth parents, developing
acceptance of their adoption.
- Coping with the stigma of being
adopted.
- Establishing dual connection to
both families.
|
| Adolescence |
- Helping your child to develop their
own sense of identity including
recognition of traits that may come
from their birth family, accepting
difference from some of their
values and style
- Supporting search interest and
plans and helping to develop
realistic expectations.
- Managing adolescent
rebelliousness with a sense of
proportion, coping with feelings
that your child may wish to leave
home as soon as possible and
reject the love you have given.
|
- Integrating adoption into a secure
sense of identity.
- Exploring feelings about a search
process, finding a balance
between idealising and criticising
their birth parents.
- Trying to understand the extent to
which feelings and behaviour are
typical for adolescence and what is
the result of being adopted.
|
Refer to the list of suggested reading for further information on the
adoptive family cycle.
From Korea with love
From Korea with love is a film that features a young Anglo-Australian couple, Justine Flynn
and Michael Baldwin, embarking on their journey of adopting a child from South Korea over
a period of two years. Michael and Justine reside in New South Wales and liaise with the
Department of Community Services for their Expression of Interest in adopting a child from
overseas who requires a permanent family. The processes are very similar to Queensland, and
will provide you with a realistic overview of what you can expect if you decide to continue to be
assessed as a prospective adoptive parent.
The film is available on video or DVD for purchase from Film Australia.
Activity 11 - From Korea with love
To complete this activity, you will need to view the film From Korea with love.
In your learning journal, comment on the following questions:
- How is Korean culture different from Australia culture?
- How would you deal with a similar issue of racism that Michael and Justine faced with a
close friend?
- The film highlighted the grief experienced by Jeong's foster mother in the film. What are
some of the other losses involved in adoption for all parties?
- What do you think is the issue about changing a child's birth name in the context of loss
through adoption?
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- Last updated
- 19 October 2007
