A child's racial awareness
A child becomes aware of racial difference during pre-school years. As they look around, they recognise that some children have light skin and others dark skin, some have straight hair and others curly hair, some have rounded eyes and others narrow eyes. They begin to compare their own appearance to other children.
Feelings of belonging and security
Physical characteristics help children define themselves and make connections with other people. Feelings of belonging and security are nurtured by looking like the people around them. In most families, physical resemblance among members is taken for granted. When there is no physical resemblance, children can become confused.
Children who have been adopted from overseas often feel that they are different from their families because of how they look. During pre-school years, adopted children often develop an awareness of racial differences and begin to react to them. Adoptive parents may rationalise their child's questions as evidence that they fully understand the meaning of being adopted. However, this is generally not true until the child is older.
A child's understanding of adoption, and the negative perceptions associated with their adoption begins when a child is between 3 - 5 years of age. The child begins to reflect on the meaning of being adopted and often leads to confusion, feeling odd or different. The child realises that by being 'chosen', they first had to be given away.
Self-image and self-esteem
Being adopted can complicate the development of self-image and self-esteem especially when a child does not look like their parents. The lack of physical similarity between parents and a child adopted from an overseas country further complicates a child's development.
The racial awareness that emerges during the child's pre-school years becomes more developed in early primary school, and the child may have trouble coming to terms with being different.
As the child grows into adolescence and spends more time thinking about their appearance, they may be troubled by the fact that they do not physically fit in with the rest of their family.
Adolescence
Adolescence can be an especially troubling time for a child adopted from an overseas country in dealing with both physical and cultural differences.
As the adolescent becomes more aware of their cultural, ethnic and racial identity, the differences between the child and the family may bring conflict. However, not every intercountry adoption results in conflict - adopted children make healthy adjustments when their families become multicultural in their attitude and behaviour.
Celebrating diversity
When people adopt children from different racial or cultural backgrounds, they are no longer just a 'black and white' family - they become a multiracial, multicultural, multiethnic family.
The differences among family members should be celebrated as an inherent part of being human. The culture from which the adopted child originates should be integrated into the family in meaningful ways - for example, through holiday celebrations, trips to the country of origin or frequent interactions with children of a similar background.
Further information
Refer to the list of suggested reading for further information on racial awareness.
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007