Combating racism
- What can adoptive parents do?
- Talking about racism
- Choosing when and how to talk about racism
- Opening up the subject
- Appreciating diversity
- Encouraging free expression
- Acknowledging your child's feelings
- Separating smaller issues from larger ones
- Making choices
- Michael's story
- Activity 9 - Dealing with racism
What can adoptive parents do?
There are a number of ways that adoptive parents can combat racism and discrimination:
- Educate your child about the realities of racism and discrimination.
- Have open and honest discussions about race and oppression with your child.
- Be aware of the attitudes of extended family members towards your child's racial and cultural differences.
- Know how to handle unique situations, such as your child's attempts to alter their physical appearance to look more like family members or friends.
- Help your child recognise racism.
- Encourage your child to be proud of their racial and cultural identity.
- Do not tolerate biased remarks about any group of people.
- Establish support networks to deal with racism towards your child, your family or yourself.
- Seek support and guidance from others who have a personal understanding of racism, particularly people from your child's country of origin.
- Obtain advice about how to deal with insensitive questions from strangers.
- Help your child understand that being discriminated against should not be taken personally.
- Encourage your child to talk about their feelings, including anger and hurt, towards racism or discrimination.
Talking about racism
Knowing how to talk about racism with your adopted child will help your child to overcome self doubts and negative perceptions of their cultural and ethnic identity.
The following suggestions have been developed in collaboration with adoptive parents, adopted children and professionals within the adoption community:
Choosing when and how to talk about racism
The news, television programs, images in magazines, stories in books and scenes in your neighbourhood all provide you with opportunities to openly discuss racism with your child.
Try to be sensitive to your child's readiness to discuss racism. Give your child your full attention and make eye contact to show your child you are interested without making them feel uncomfortable.
Opening up the subject
Encourage your child from a young age to talk to you if they feel hurt by any exclusion, name calling or other forms of racism, and let them know that you will support them. If any action is required, make sure you consult with your child first. Use this style of open communication for handling other problems as well.
Appreciating diversity
Promote an environment of acceptance and appreciation of cultural diversity within the wider community.
Encouraging free expression
Your child may want to draw or use dolls or action figures to demonstrate an experience with racism. Ask questions without pushing for details which may be embarrassing for your child. The objective is to help your child feel listened to rather than obtaining the complete story. You should try to remain as calm as possible otherwise your child will need to cope with your feelings as well as their own. Focus on your child's needs.
Acknowledging your child's feelings
Your child will feel supported if you verbally repeat what has been said, emphasising the feelings they have experienced with racism.
Separating smaller issues from larger ones
Separate the smaller issues from the larger ones. Sometimes comments are made and questions are asked in innocence, especially by young children. It is better to help your child maintain perspective rather than taking offence with every comment or question.
However, aggressive name-calling, taunts or physical bullying can be very damaging. Demonstrate appropriate firmness in managing and resolving the situation and do not make promises you can not keep.
Making choices
Include your child as much as possible in decision making, but do not ask them to make decisions beyond their ability.
Refer to the list of suggested reading further information on helping your child talk about racism.
Michael's story
Openness and honesty were always the focus of our family discussions. I was encouraged to ask as many questions about my background as I had, unfortunately my parents didn't know much. They were told that my birth mother had me out of wedlock, and that is considered socially unacceptable among all castes in India. She had two options - to keep me and be banished from the family tree, or stay with her family and have every trace of me in the family tree wiped out. Obviously, she took the second option, as I am sure many people would. Sometimes I wonder if this is how everything really happened.
Activity 9 - Dealing with racism
In your learning journal, comment on the following questions:
- How do you think you will cope with racism? How will you prepare your child?
- Given that racism is not always overt and confrontational, how will you prepare yourself and your child to deal with stereotypes about their cultural or ethnic background?
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007