The impact of adoption on your family
What are some impacts?
A child with different physical characteristics from their parents makes the family different to other families in their community. People will notice and show interest. Some questions to think and consider:
- How would you feel if people in the community see you with your adopted child, stare at you as they walk by and make potentially incorrect assumptions about you and your child?
- Would it concern you that some people will assume your partner is of a different ethnic background to you?
- How would you feel if your family was subjected to name calling, direct or indirect criticism, or negative reactions from neighbours or casual acquaintances?
- How would you react if your child is hurt or upset by name calling?
- If your adopted child exhibits a very different temperament from other family members, would you find this frustrating or aggravating? Would it make you feel uneasy or would you find it a challenge?
- If close family members, for example, grandparents, repeatedly rejected your adopted child and you felt it necessary to stop seeing them, how would this affect you and any other children in your family?
It is important to explore your own feelings and whether other people's views matter to you. It is important to know how to respond appropriately to these feelings and situations before proceeding with adoption of a child from a different ethnic background to your own.
Activity 2 - Amara's story
Amara was born in Sri Lanka in 1980 and adopted when she was 29 days old. She came straight to Australia after her adoption. Amara's birth mother is Sri Lankan but nothing is known about her birth father. Amara lives with her Australian mother and Swiss father, she has no adoptive siblings and isn't aware of any natural siblings. She feels her family's openness about her adoption and acceptance of her is the key that has helped her to feel secure and happy in her Australian family.
'I have never really thought about being adopted from a different culture because I have always felt so accepted. I forget that I am adopted, I forget that I am black', says Amara.
'I can't relate to other adoptees' feelings of having no roots because I am rooted in my adoptive family. Actually, the word 'adoptive' doesn't sit comfortably with me - they are my family! You could try telling me that there is no blood connection and therefore there is no family, but you are wrong. I am black, they are white and we are family' says Amara.
'Mum and Dad have always been open about where I am from. They told me I was born in Sri Lanka - I didn't guess by looking in the mirror and discovering my 'difference'. Their openness was the key and helped me not to question. My life is not shrouded in mystery, with parts of it hidden, deemed untouchable'.
'I have a good sense of who I am. In terms of culture and identity, I am Australian. My identity includes being Sri Lankan and Swiss, but I don't see myself as three individual parts. There is no friction or confusion, rather, a sense of wholeness. When I look in the mirror I see Amara - not colour, appearance, culture or questions. I fit in completely - in my family, in Australia', says Amara
In your learning journal, comment on the following questions:
- How do you think that you would maintain a positive sense of your child's cultural identity?
- Last updated
- 19 October 2007